Our goal and our struggle in the Army with all the deployments, schools, training, and time away is to continue to strengthen and nourish our relationships. This can be very challenging and takes a lot of time and energy to achieve, and to be honest, it’s a goal we rarely feel like we’ve accomplished. We only have so much time and energy in a day, so we have to pick and choose which relationships are going to be nourished and strengthened.

Since the majority of Soldiers in the Army believe in the Divine, a relationship that we also want to nourish is with God. The truth is that there’s a great deal of similarity between how we strengthen our relationships with others and how we strengthen our relationship with God.

The first necessity in strengthening any relationship is TIME. The best way to deepen our relationships is to spend time with others. Anselm of Canterbury, a Benedictine monk from the 12th century said, “Escape from your everyday business for a short while, hide for a moment from your restless thoughts!” Lord knows we need Calgon or something to “take us away.” Can I get an Amen?

He goes on to say, “Break off from your cares and troubles and be less concerned about your tasks and labors. Make a little room for God and rest a while in Him.” Just hanging out with each other is essential for both human and Divine relationships.

The second necessity in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. Clement of Alexandria (date 215) simply defined prayer as conversation with God. The word “ACTS” stands for the different types of prayer: Adoration – “I love you.” Confession – “I’m sorry.” Thanksgiving – “Thank you.” Supplication – “Help me.” In fact, every healthy relationship needs all of these short phrases.

Imagine a relationship where one or several of these were lacking? In our relationships, which of these are strong and which of these are weak?

The third necessity in any relationship is DISCIPLINE. Working towards a long-term good vs. a short-term feeling is important! Often we have to say no to something because we’ve already said yes to something better. What’s helpful in any relationship is to ask ourselves: what do I need to do to strengthen this relationship in the long term? Stay committed in your relationships and don’t let your “feelings” rule the day. It’s hard work to deepen a relationship, but that commitment is so worth it in all of our relationships.

The purpose for all our relationships is the same. Thomas Dubay, in his book “Prayer Primer,” says the aim of prayer is to fall in love. Both human and Divine relationships have the same goal: union and connectedness. Both types are based on love and self-giving!

So, let’s all make a point to nourish our relationships that are so worthwhile both in this world and the next!