Record breaking snowfalls and low temperatures, produced school closings, cancelled training and thousands of flights grounded, leaving thousands of frustrated and explosive passengers. No one likes to be a victim of CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THEIR CONTROL. Yet, if we look at life honestly, we will discover that there is not much within our life that we have complete control over. I would bet that much of your day is reactive to outside stimulus. Such as that appointment for the doctor you’re trying to get, or how the parents of the bully who’s harassing your kid don’t seem to care. How about the programs you were planning on conducting, but everything has changed because of budget cuts? These are factors that change your

environment and seek a response; because life is fluid, it is not static, always changing.

I do a lot of counseling with couples and spend time helping them to track down the root of the problem, to discover its source. Many times the big problem is a result of a reaction that had caused some misalignment in their world setting off a chain reaction, most call the domino effect. This often leads to feeling out of control, and feeling disconnected from their spouse.

I like to freak out customer service workers. It seems those folks get beat up on an hourly basis by many people who just want their way, NO MATTER WHAT. I imagine their training module: “Hi I’m Jim, please abuse me,

thanks, have a nice day.”

So, when I approach them being nice and caring, they are taken aback just a little. They have to reevaluate their initial impression of this big, six foot four inch guy who looks like he could devour them. Their reaction changes from the norm. Before this goodness happens, a little processing has to take place. I have to choose to be nice. What is your response time from stimulus to reaction? How long does it take your heart rate to rocket when someone cuts you off in traffic? Or when your child breaks your favorite keepsake? I’ve been guilty of a 1.2 nanosecond response; after all I ride a motorcycle. Many drivers don’t look, nor care. My question is; can we create some space, ANY amount of space between stimulus and reaction? Does action have to have an immediate, instantaneous reaction? Or could a breath or two, a thought from another perspective, be had BEFORE reaction is given?

I’ve found that when I take a minute to consider things, I often see the situation differently. When I do that, I form a controlled, intelligent response, not an explosion.

Have you ever had a reactive supervisor who would blow up on a daily basis? What kind of

an animal credibility did they have? I bet you and your coworkers used to make fun of them. Where are

the trust, credibility and positive leadership? Are your kids afraid of what they may get when you come home? People avoid a ticking bomb. Are you the walking explosive in your marriage or are you a peacemaker? Animals react, people can choose. Psalm 86:15 tells us: “But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.”

I am very glad that God does not give me what I deserve. This passage teaches me the love and compassion I receive; I should share with someone else. Honestly, I don’t understand how God loves mankind the way He does, He just does, He’s God. James 1:19, 20 teaches me that even when things are out of my control, I can choose wisely.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

Breathe, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ahhh. I can choose to create some space between action and reaction (stimulus and response).

“I am not an animal!” (Quasimodo, Hunchback of Notre Dame)